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Female
ejaculation (FE) is a contentious, even scandalous subject. The very mention of the word ejaculation in
the context of female sexuality confuses both men and women. Many people associate ejaculation with the
expulsion of semen from a man’s penis, however women also have the capacity to
expel a quantity of fluid when properly aroused and stimulated, and even though
most women will never experience this, it is possible to learn how to make it
happen.
Why Haven’t I Heard About This
Before?
Most people
react to the idea of female ejaculation as if it were a recent discovery, but
the ancient Greeks seem to have had knowledge of this delightful
phenomenon. Aristotle wrote about it, as
did Regnier De Graaf in his New Treatise Concerning the Generative Organs of
Women (2nd Century AD). He wrote (of the female prostate, the
source of female ejaculate), "…during the sexual act it discharges to
lubricate the tract so copiously that it even flows outside the pudenda.
This is the matter which may have been taken to be actual female
semen." And, further, he characterized the fluid as rushing
out with force "in one gush."
The concept of female ejaculation has been widely known in eastern
cultures, where sexuality is much more intertwined into the daily rituals of
life. Many Tantric sex documents make reference to female
ejaculation. In Africa, the Batoro people of Uganda have a ritual called kachapati (spray the wall) in which a young woman is taught by the elder
females of the village to ejaculate before she can be considered eligible for
marriage.
 The suppression of sexuality in western culture has led to a lot
of stigma with respect to all things sexual, especially those things that
involve enhanced female sexuality. Until recently, very few women
had even heard of female ejaculation, let alone experienced it for
themselves. Today, almost half of all women have at least heard of FE,
though very few lack any substantial knowledge of what it is, how it works, and
what it can mean to the female orgasm itself.
What is Female Ejaculation?
Some women have ejaculated and don't even realize it. Many
do this and believe it to be the leakage of urine or just a byproduct of
increased vaginal lubrication, when in fact, they've ejaculated a small
quantity of female prostatic fluid. You will occasionally see
reports about "female incontinence" during sex. The doctors who
are unfamiliar with FE attribute the "wetting" of the bed to
incontinence rather than the actual ejaculation of prostatic
fluids. Yet, an analysis of these fluids shows clearly that it
isn't urine, but a fluid very similar in many respects to male seminal
fluid. It does not smell or taste like urine, and it does not stain like
urine does. It also does not look like urine – urine is a yellowish
color, whereas FE is a clear or milky color. The fact that the substance
is not urine has also been borne out in tests where subjects took a medication
that turns urine a different color ( i.e. orange or blue), brought themselves
to orgasm, and the resultant ejaculation was clear. (1)
It is possible for some women to learn how to ejaculate, though it isn’t an easy thing to master,
and it requires both time and patience.
Experience has shown, however, that those who work towards achieving it
can often do so if they apply the appropriate techniques. There is very little
actual hard evidence about the specific physiology behinds what it is and what
causes it. Not surprisingly, there is also a wide variety of estimates
as to the number of women who actually can ejaculate. Some sex health experts
assert that any woman can learn to do it, while others suggest as few as one in
five can do it. The bottom line of course, is that you won't know
if you can do it until you've tried. If you'd like some background
information on the exact mechanics of how ejaculation works for women, you can
find it HERE .
One thing addressed in that article is the quantity of fluid that
can be ejaculated. The glands that produce this substance are relatively
small, and the best estimates thus far seem to suggest that they can produce an
amount of fluid in the range of 2-4 teaspoons. This would seem to
suggest that if you do ejaculate, it won't be quite the fire hose streams you
see porn stars such as Cytheria squirting in her movies. Quite
simply, there's no way those little glands can produce that much fluid.
Just as the porn stars fake orgasm, they often fake ejaculating or squirting as it’s colloquially known, by
forcing urine out of their bladders.
Learning to Ejaculate
There are a series of steps you can take if you want to learn how
to do this for your own sexual pleasure and enjoyment. As stated above,
not all women will be able to ejaculate, but with practice, many are able to
get to the point where they can do it fairly regularly.
You can use the procedures below to teach yourself how to do this,
even if they don't lead you to the point of ejaculation, this process will
result in more powerful orgasms, so if you are unable to ejaculate, it will not
have been a waste of your time.
1. Do Kegel exercises
regularly. Toning and strengthening these muscles will provide you
with the power to ejaculate forcefully, and will result in much better control
over the timing and intensity of your "ordinary" orgasms.
You need to have been doing these for some time and have developed some ability
to control these muscles before trying to learn to ejaculate. If you
haven't been doing them, start and continue for about a month before you
actually try to ejaculate.
2. If you don't already masturbate, learn
to do so. The ability to have clitorally-induced orgasms is essential in
order for this to work. A high level of arousal is key to becoming able
to ejaculate, and it is almost impossible to accomplish without masturbating
your clit. Masturbation is critical to learning about your body and
how its sexual parts work, both independently and in concert with one
another. There is no other way to do this other than masturbation, and
until you can do that fruitfully, the rest of this will yield little results
3. Find and learn to use your
G-Spot . Every female has a Graffenberg Spot, though in about 10% of
them it just isn't able to be aroused enough to be productive. The
ability to induce an orgasm via the G-spot is also critical to ejaculation.
If you are unable to get your G-spot working for an orgasm, it is quite likely
that you won't be able to ejaculate.
4. Once you're ready to begin trying to learn to
ejaculate, and you get ready to begin this process, go to the bathroom and urinate.
At some point during this, you'll likely encounter the feeling that you need to
go pee, and you can eliminate the confusion by peeing on the front end.
5. It is probably best if you attempt this while you
are alone and will have some time where you'll be undisturbed.
Additionally, you may wish to do this in a bathtub, on some towels, or some
other place where clean-up will be easier. If it works, and at some point
you are able to ejaculate, there may be some serious wetness, and you don't want
to mess up your sheets or mattress.
6. Begin by relaxing and putting yourself into a
mindset where you'll be able to get really horny. As a female you
probably understand that the majority of your arousal comes from your mental
stimulation as much as the physical stimulation, and if you can't get fully
comfortable and relaxed, you won't be very successful with this.
7. Masturbate yourself to the point where you are
significantly aroused. Include something to mentally stimulate
yourself (porn, an erotic story or mental fantasy, etc.). Begin
with clitoral stimulation, and once you're sufficiently aroused (read: wet),
begin inserting your fingers into your vagina. Use some lube
(such as KY or AstroGlide) if necessary.
8. As you penetrate yourself with your fingers,
try to locate your G-Spot. The G-Spot will be inside your vagina,
on the anterior wall (this is the front wall of your vagina, toward your
bellybutton), about one and a half to two inches in. As you become
more aroused, you'll feel it as an enlarged spongy area. The area itself
will vary in size from one girl to the next, and probably 10% of girls may not
even be able to detect such a place. This enlargement is believed
to be the filling of the urethral sponges (the tissues surrounding the urethra
and the Skene's Glands) with the liquid that will eventually be
ejaculated.
9. Once you've located your G-Spot, slowly continue to
stimulate it with two fingers, using a "come hither" motion (as if
you're using your fingers to encourage someone to come to you from inside your
vagina). Do this and actually play with the G-Spot, massagining it
intensely, then backing off, rubbing directly across it, then moving each
finger to one side of it. Feel it, squeeze it, explore it.
This may feel intensely erotic to you, it may have little or no feeling, or it
may even be painful. Don't give up on it if at first it feels painful to
you; just slow down, back off, and relax, then try it again. Over time
(several sessions, not just this instance), it will gradually become more
eroticized for you.
10. At some point, you'll begin to notice an increase
in intensity of the feelings in the area you're massaging, and in your vaginal
area in general. As you reach the point of orgasm, your vagina will
begin to contract. Once this occurs, you can begin to be more forceful
and move your fingers a bit faster across your G-Spot, which will increase the
sensations (don't forget to continue masturbating your clitoris as well).
Eventually, this will reach the point where you have the strong sensation that
you need to pee. This is where most women will stop. You
don't want to stop yet! As you feel that urge to pee build, relax
your muscles down there, and begin to push, almost as if you were trying to
force out pee. If you've been doing your Kegels, you should be able
to control the bladder sphincter. You'll want to back off of that muscle
gradually – and the feeling that you're trying to hold back the pee -- and
begin to push as if you were trying to use the bathroom. This
part of the process may take anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour.
11. At this stage you can practice pushing out the
ejaculate; to quote Deborah Sundahl, "Stimulate your G-spot as you raise
your buttocks off the floor and firmly push outward with your PC muscles as if
forcing yourself to pee. After a minute or two, push, hold, relax and continue
to stimulate. Remember to keep your finger in your vagina the entire time.
Repeat this stimulate-push-hold-relax-stimulate procedure a few
times." (2) Continue to do this until you feel like you want to have an
orgasm: then, if (a) your G-spot is swollen, and (b) when you push it feels
like you want to urinate, and (c) you are aroused and excited, you are ready to
ejaculate. Take you finger out of your vagina and push your ejaculate out, as
if forcing yourself to pee. You are aiming to push the fluid out, not hold it
back.
12. As you push, you should feel the orgasm intensify
and, if you're fortunate, you may indeed ejaculate some liquid. It
is quite possible that you may expel some urine, especially during your first
few attempts at this. You'll be able to tell the difference because urine
has an acrid smell to it, whereas ejaculate doesn’t.
13. Continue to practice as you feel the desire to do
so. In many cases, simply changing the timing of when you push
might make all of the difference, so it may take you a few sessions before you
are able to get it down just right. You should continue to practice these
exercises, however, because even if you aren't able to ejaculate, they will
cause your orgasms to become stronger. So, either way, you win.
Keep in mind that these types of orgasms are liable to be very intense – so
much so that you might even feel as if you're going to pass out.
The basic key in all of this is learning to just let go – learn to
relax and allow everything to come out as forcefully as you can stand
it. Though you may be able to get to the point where you can
ejaculate during intercourse, it is much more likely that you'll only be able
to do so through manual stimulation. Once you learn how to make yourself
do it, you can coach your partner by showing him/her how to massage your G-spot
just the right way in order to allow you to reach the point where you can
ejaculate. If you're going to be trying this with a partner,
prepare him/her for what might happen! Just as you might have a problem
swallowing a guy's ejaculate, your partner may have issues getting yours in
his/her mouth, especially the first time it happens.
 This is Weird!
To many women, the whole concept of ejaculating seems gross and
grotesque – only guys are supposed to ejaculate when they have orgasms,
right? It may take some time to get used to the idea, and it may
take some time, and patience, to get yourself to the point where you can enjoy
this unique aspect of your sexuality.
One other situation you may encounter is the reaction of your
partner, especially if s/he knows little or nothing about the subject of female
ejaculation, so you should talk to your partner and explain to them what it is
that you’re trying to do, and ask them to help you with this.
Explain to them that you've been working to develop this capability, and that
they shouldn't be too startled if/when you do ejaculate on them during
sex. You definitely need to make them understand that it isn’t urine
coming out, and hopefully your partner won't be too unsettled by your new
orgasmic skills!
(1) Belzer, Edwin. "Orgasmic
Expulsions of Women." Journal of Sex Research, 1981, pp. 6
(2) Deborah Sundahl. Female Ejaculation
and the G-Spot. 2004
One person has commented on this article.  1. UntitledColin Sattler, UnregisteredInteresting article - I write as a male, having discovered how to bring my new partner to ejaculate - it is often a FLOOD! - which doesn't cause me any discomfort - rather more of a turn on to be able to assist my partner to satisfaction - a couple of cup fulls and more at times - tastes fine and I have swallowed heaps with no resulting illness lol- My partner sometimes still needs to pee after, so its definitely NOT urine - relax fellas and enjoy  |
