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Anal sex is the penetration of the anus with a penis (or strap-on dildo).
It is identical to vaginal sex, with the obvious exception that the receiver
is taking it in the back end as opposed to the "usual" entrance of the
vagina.
To some people, anal sex may seem taboo. For others, their first sexual
experience is with anal sex because they wish to preserve their "vaginal
virginity" for someone else. Regardless, anal sex, if done correctly and
safely can be a very intense, pleasurable experience for both partners.
For males, pleasure from anal sex comes from the increased tightness of the
anal muscles around the penis during intercourse. For women, the pleasure
comes from several different sources, including stimulation of the anal
nerves and muscles - muscles that are tied into the same nerves and muscles
that produce vaginal pleasure.
There are no hard and fast statistics on the number of people who engage in
anal sex, but the variety of estimates runs from around 20% to well over
half of all females and males have engaged at one time or another in anal
intercourse. Though many commonly associate anal sex with gay males, the
fact is that just as many heterosexuals participate in the act as those that
are gay.
Many people find the idea of anal sex interesting, but are afraid to engage
in it for a variety of reasons. Chief among these is the fear of getting
feces on the penis (or whatever else is inserted into the rectum). The
truth is that, unless you just have gone or need to go to the bathroom (to
take a dump), there's generally nothing in the rectum to get on anything
inserted into it.
Another fear is that of pain, especially on the receiver's end. As I
indicated above, if you prepare for it correctly, and make sure you follow
the rules about using lubrication, taking things slowly to begin with, and
not being too rough, it is not only a safe form of sex, but can be very
intense for both partners.
Just as with any other form of sex play, unsafe practices can lead to
disease transmission. Hepatitis B and HIV are transmitted readily through
anal sex, as are many other STDs. If you're going to engage in anal
intercourse, be sure and practice safe sex.
There is much less chance of pregnancy resulting from unprotected anal sex
than there is vaginal sex as well. Though it may sound impossible to get
pregnant this way, there is a remote possibility that semen can leak down
from the anus and run into the vagina if the girl is on all fours, and the
guy pulls out. I've seen statistics that indicate approximately 2% of all
unintended pregnancies each year occur this way. Therefore, if you elect to
go this route, be careful.
Here are the basic tips on how to do anal safely:
1. Prepare for it correctly. Play with your anus during masturbation and
learn how it feels to have something in and around it. If you are concerned
about getting “stuff” on your fingers (which is highly unlikely), play with
it in the shower. Insert a finger, and allow your anus to relax around it,
then try two, etc. Once you get used to the feeling of that, then you’ll
have some idea what it will be like to have something else inserted into
your butt.
2. The rectum can accommodate a penis of between 7 and 8 inches, generally
speaking. With anything longer than that, you may have some issues if you
try to bottom out.
3. Never take anything out of your partner’s ass and put it in your mouth or
her vagina. Despite what you see in pornos, these are not safe practices
and can lead to bacterial infections.
4. The anal muscles and rectum walls are much more delicate than the vaginal
walls are. Please be careful when you first start attempting anal sex. If
you do it wrong the first time and it ends up hurting her or damaging your
body, you’ll be reluctant to try it again any time soon.
5. The rectum doesn’t normally contain any feces, unless you either need to
go to the bathroom, or have been to the bathroom recently (within the past
hour or so). If you know you’re going to be having anal, have a BM earlier
in the day if you can, and bathe afterward (or otherwise clean the area back
there).
Lubrication
The anus and rectum do not produce their own natural lubrication like the
vagina does. Therefore, you’ll have to use some form of lubrication to
ensure that penetration is not painful and to minimize the chances that a
skin tear will occur. It is important that you use sufficient lubrication,
and you’ll see others say there’s no such thing as “too much” lube. While
it is important to use enough, you can use too much and it will become much
too messy, for a variety of reasons.
Use a water-based lube such as AstroGlide or KY, in conjunction with a
condom. As the receiver becomes more accustomed to having anal penetration,
it may be possible to begin reducing the amount you use. Just be sure and
use enough to make it comfortable for both partners to minimize the
potential for damage to the receiver’s rectum. Be sure that, as you insert
the penis fully into the rectum that you continue to ensure that the shaft
is lubricated!
I do not recommend lubes with anesthetics in them, such as Anal-Eze. Pain
is the body’s way of telling you something is wrong, and when you eliminate
it through the use of an anesthetic lube such as that, you lose much of the
ability to know when your body is trying to tell you you’re not doing it
correctly! Anal sex should not hurt if sufficient preparation has gone into
it and you’re doing it the right way!
If you are with a partner that you know is free of disease, and you want to
go bareback (without a condom), I’d recommend using either a silicone-based
lube or an oil-based one such as Vaseline. These types of lubes will not
dry out as rapidly as the water-based ones will, and using these will allow
for a longer anal session if desired.
Positions
Is there a best position for trying anal? Some will say no, but I believe
that there are two that work better than any others, especially for first
timers.
The first is the Doggy Position ,
with the receiver on all fours, and the giver thrusting from behind. This
position works well for your first time because it allows the receiver to
back onto the penis at her own pace. If it starts to hurt, she can stop for
a second and allow the anus to relax some and accommodate it at her own
pace. And, if it starts to hurt for the guy, he, too, can back up a little
bit.
The other position is the spooning position on the bed. This works very
similarly to the doggy position, but with the added friction of the bed
(since the body is pretty much in full contact with the bed), it becomes a
little harder to manipulate your body as gingerly as you can in the doggy
position.
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| Anal penetration
in the spooning position |
Some people will recommend using the standard missionary position or a
derivative of it for your first time. I disagree with this because of the
angles involved in achieving penetration and the relative awkwardness of
trying to get it in when you’re doing it for the first time. You wan to
make sure the first time is as easy as possible so ensure that things go
well, and you’ll want to do it again.
Once you become accustomed to anal sex, the
reverse cowgirl
position is an awesome position for achieving deep penetrations.
I would recommend against this position for your first few times, however
because of that fact. For that matter, you can do anal in just about any
position you can do vaginal sex in, assuming you have the length to get the
penis inserted into the rectum.
Actually Doing Anal
When you get ready to try your first anal, you should play with your
partner’s asshole gently with a finger. You can lube it up and trace a
circle around her anus, and then begin pushing into her ass a little bit,
going slowly to allow it to loosen up and relax. After a few minutes of
this, insert another finger slowly and allow your two fingers to fuck her
asshole for a little bit. Once she becomes accustomed to this, you can then
consider moving to penile penetration if desired. Keep in mind that your
fingers are considerably rougher than your penis, so if she balks at having
two or more fingers in her, go back to using one finger and move to penile
insertion once she is again comfortable with what is going on.
Once you begin penetrating her asshole with your penis, you *must* go
slowly. Take it easy and allow her to push back onto your penis at the
speed she wants to go. She will be the one who knows how much it is hurting
(if at all), and can stop as she needs to to allow her anus to relax and
accommodate your penis.
As you push in, allow the head to enter the rectum, and sit there for a
minute, allowing her anal muscle to relax and get used to having something
that big in it. After she gives the okay, then you can begin slow thrusting
motions to move your penis deeper and deeper into her rectum. If the
receiver has been doing Kegel Exercises, he/she can use those to grasp the
penis tighter on each incoming or outgoing thrust to heighten the sensations
for him. Eventually, the person doing the penetration will cum.
If the receiver is a female, I highly recommend masturbating yourself while
you’re being fucked. An orgasm with anal penetration can be very intense.
It is not uncommon to have your G-Spot stimulated through the rectal/vaginal
walls, and this in combination with your masturbation can lead to a major,
full-body orgasm! Your anal muscles are interconnected with the muscles
that provide you with your vaginal orgasm. So the combination of a vaginal
orgasm and the stimulation of your anal muscles simultaneously can be very
intense indeed! This is a nice way to ensure simultaneous orgasms as well.
As your partner lets you know he’s on his way to an orgasm, you can
masturbate yourself into an orgasm at the same time he gets his! Very
powerful stuff!
Bringing up the subject of Anal Sex
I am a huge believer in communicating about sex with your partner. If you
have an interest in trying anal sex, express that to your partner. You
should feel comfortable talking about sex if you’re sexually active – I
mean, if you’re meshing body parts, you should at least be comfortable
enough with each other to talk about what you’re doing.
If your partner does not want to try anal sex, don’t press the issue. Many
people are frightened by what they perceive as the negatives associated with
anal – the pain and potential mess. If possible, you might find a way to
educate them about it if that’s where the problem lies. If you want to
tease a little, when you’re in a suitable position during sex, reach around
and run your fingers down the crack of your partner’s ass. If he/she
doesn’t object, stop on the asshole and play with it a little bit with your
finger. Some people will realize that they do, in fact, having their little
hole played with and may wish to explore a little further!
NEVER try to do anal on your partner without discussing it
first. Doing so will ruin any chances you have of getting it that way in
the future, I can assure you.
Males and Anal Play/Penetration
Anal play for the male can be just as much fun and provide as much
pleasure as it does for a female. The key to the male enjoyment of anal
play is the prostate gland, which is sometimes referred to as the “Male
G-Spot .” You can stimulate this gland by inserting a finger into his anus
up to about the third knuckle, and performing a “come hither” motion. You
will feel a walnut-sized hard spot on the inner lining of the rectal wall –
this is the prostate. You can trace circles around it or pull your finger
across it as you give a guy head or a hand job, and this will result in a
much more intense orgasm for him, both in terms of strength of it and the
amount of ejaculate he produces – be prepared for that if he’s going to cum
in your mouth.
For some reason, many guys have this idea that if anything gets near their
asshole, they instantly become homosexual. Obviously, this is not true, but
that mindset does represent an obstacle to many guys allowing themselves to
enjoy the potential orgasmic ecstasy that such activity can bring to the
sexual table. If you're fortunate enough to have an open-minded guy that
will allow you to experiment with him like this, the both of you should be
in for some serious fun!
Summary
Anal sex can be a fun addition to your sexual repertoire. The central key
to this, however, it making sure you prepare for it and do it correctly.
Failure to do so might result in you not enjoying it and not wanting to do
it again, and may also lead to damage to your body! Be sure you do your
research and don't rush things!
Use the NEXT>> links to find out how to
prepare for your first anal in depth!
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