Why should you as a parent should support comprehensive sex education?
Teaching 'Just say No' as a form of sex education is about as effective
as saying 'Have a nice day' is at preventing depression.
Paraphrased from
statement of Michael Carrera, Ed.D., testifying at the Presidential
Commission on AIDS
If you
tell kids about sex, they'll do it. If you tell them about VD, they'll
go out and get it. Incredible as may seem, most oppositions to sex
education in this country are based on the assumption that knowledge is
harmful. But research in this area reveals that ignorance and unresolved
curiosity, not knowledge, are harmful. Our failure to tell children what
they want and need to know is one reason we have the highest rates of
out-of-wedlock teens pregnancy and abortion of any highly developed
country in the world."
What Kids Need to Know,
Psychology Today, October 1986. Dr. Sol
Gordon, Professor Emeritus, Syracuse University, and an expert on sex
education
The United States has the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the
developed world, and one of the highest STD transmission rates of any
developed country on the planet. In fact, the teen pregnancy rates in
the US are four times greater than any other developed country. (1)
To parents, sex education is one of those most controversial subjects to
be brought into the classroom. In our private lives, sexuality often
remains cloaked in secrecy, shame, guilt and repression; it is no wonder
why so many are concerned! However, the majority of parents do want
their kids to receive some education about the issue in one form or
another
What's the difference between
Abstinence-Only and Comprehensive sex education?
"Abstinence-Only" or A/O, emphasizes the fact that abstinence is the
only surefire method of preventing STDs and pregnancy. It excludes other
reliable information, such as the effectiveness of contraceptives.
Typically, only the negative attributes of birth control (including
condoms) are discussed and there are frequent images and discussions
about deaths resulting from STD s (an extremely rare occurrence).
Generally, a great deal of misinformation is presented, such as the
"fact" that HPV always leads to cervical cancer, which of course is
patently untrue. These courses are designed to frighten kids rather than
actually educate them.
Intimidation is never an effective teaching device.
"Comprehensive" Sex Ed (sometimes referred to as "Abstinence Plus") also
teaches that abstinence is the only effective method of preventing
pregnancy and disease transmission. However, it can also include a wide
variety of additional information, such as proper relationship
development, selection and use of contraceptives (including how to
obtain and use them), masturbation, issues and concepts surrounding
sexual orientation, and information about sexually transmitted diseases.
According to a 2004 Kaiser Foundation Report, less than 10% of parents
believe sex education should not be taught in schools. For the remaining
90%, however, the exact form that sex ed should take presents a dilemma.
That same report indicated that only 15% believed that Abstinence Only
curricula should be taught, while some 36% believe there should be
comprehensive sex ed. The remainder fall somewhere in between. (2)
Given Dr. Gordon's quote above about the lack of knowledge being
harmful, it is surprising that so many parents advocate keeping their
children in the dark about the subject of sex. Not only do A/O programs
do just that, but they have been demonstrated to be ineffective in their
stated purpose of reducing teen pregnancies and disease transmission.
(7) This can have dangerous, long-term ramifications for your child.
The Basics Behind Comprehensive Sex
Education
Sex education is about teaching responsibility, not morals. Morals and
ethics concerning sex are exactly what are supposed to be taught and
instilled by you as a parent. You say that you can't separate morals and
sex education, but I disagree. Teaching someone how to use a condom, or
how STDs are spread or prevented transcend moral issues; they operate in
the same manner regardless of whether you have premarital sex or not, or
for that matter, whether you believe it is right or wrong. Comprehensive
sex ed does not teach or tell
someone when to have sex. It
teaches the child concepts about appropriate relationship development
and how to understand when it is the right time to take that step. As a
component of comprehensive sex ed, the focus on abstinence as a primary
means of preventing pregnancy and disease transmission fulfills that
obligation.
As a parent, it is important for you to understand that you can not and
will not decide if and when your child has sex. That decision will be
made by him or her, and at a time not of your choosing. You will not be
in the back seat of that car, the hotel room, or in your house after
school one day with all of the raging hormones that drive the teenager's
biological and psychological curiosity about sexuality. Therefore, it is
imperative that you make certain your child is armed with the
appropriate knowledge and background to make informed decisions about
what they're doing, and, more importantly, doing it safely.
Some people have issues with teach teens about condoms. Does teaching a
child how to use a condom suggest that it might be okay to have sex?
Studies suggest that it does not affect decisions about it one way or
the other (4). It would, however, be asinine to assume that if young
people do not learn about contraception, they will not have sexual
intercourse.
Teaching children A/O is also flawed from the standpoint that your child
will hear one thing in class, and something completely different in the
hallways of their school. Your child is brighter than you might think.
They see images and information about sexuality on the Internet, on TV,
in the stores, when they are with their friends, etc. They will learn
about sex from a variety of sources. Why would you not want them to
learn it in a controlled environment where you can ensure that the
information they receive is accurate? After all, their very lives may
depend on what they learn. Therefore, failure to ensure that your child
receives a comprehensive education about their sexuality is
irresponsible at best.
In many European countries, fully comprehensive sex education programs
have been in place for years, and have been shown to be very effective
in reducing the instances of teen pregnancy, disease transmissions,
abortions, etc, (5). In this country, California is the only state that
does not use the A/O programs, and they are the only state that has
shown a marked decrease in the number of teen pregnancies (a 40%
reduction) in levels comparable to those seen in Europe. (3) The states
of Texas and Ohio, on the other hand, have been using A/O programs for
several years, and have the highest teen pregnancy and STD transmission
rates in the country! (2) Believing that abstinence only programs are
effective for their stated purpose clearly ignores all of the scientific
evidence and data on the national and international levels.
It is my responsibility as a parent to
teach my child about sex!
That is 100% correct. The method you use to do that, however, may not do
your child justice. Very few parents have the knowledge and experience
to adequately teach a child what they need to know about sex these days.
Can you describe the symptoms of an HPV infection? Do you know how
effective the NuvaRing is compared to other forms of birth control? And,
perhaps more importantly, do you feel totally comfortable discussing
issues like masturbation, how to use a condom and similar topics with
your child? Most parents don't, of course, and this is where sex
education comes in.
Allowing your children to attend comprehensive sex education classes
allows them to learn in an environment with their peers, such that they
can understand and talk about issues that they all have in common. You
can support your children by discussing what they've learned in school,
and providing the context for rational, moral decision making from your
perspective, built upon what they've learned at school. In fact, the
single greatest impact you can have on your child with respect to the
development of their sexuality ethics is to set a good example, stay in
touch with your kids and be willing to talk to them about your values
and theirs, and encourage them to learn about it! Allowing schools to
teach your child about sex is not in any way abrogating your
responsibility for teaching you children - it enhances it.
My children promised to be abstinent, so
they don't need sex education.
"But my child signed an 'abstinence pledge' card, so I know he/she won't
have sex; he/she wouldn't lie, right?" Perhaps you are not aware that
83% of kids do not consider oral sex as "sex," and that a significant
number of them do not consider having anal sex as "losing their
virginity." If you were not aware of that, perhaps you should spend some
time learning about teen sexuality yourself. A huge number of kids who
sign virginity pledges "get around it" by having oral or anal sex. I
knew several girls in high school that had anal sex regularly but still
considered themselves "virgins." Regardless of whether you believe these
are actual forms of sex, it is important to note that STDs can be spread
via these activities.
Your children may indeed remain abstinent until they day of their
marriage. However, statistics show that half of all children will have
sexual intercourse before they graduate from high school. In fact, 88
percent of students who pledged virginity in middle school and high
school still engage in premarital sex (6). You have no way of knowing
whether your son or daughter will be among that group, despite today's
assurance that they will. Additionally, once they do begin having sex in
their marriage, they are still going to need to know about basic
reproductive health, the appropriate use of birth control, masturbation,
and all of the other topics covered in a comprehensive sex education
program. Would you expect them to learn these concepts from each other?
Your child's education includes issues about drugs, crimes, history, how
to perform complex differential equations, how to drive a car, etc. Why
should something so vital to their physical and psychological health,
for their entire lives in fact, be neglected?
Support for Comprehensive Sex Ed
Sex education should be based on sound scientific evidence about
teenagers and the biological, sociological and psychological factors
that influence them. There is no valid scientific basis for believing
that A/O programs work - they simply ignore that basic drives that every
teenager has. As a matter of principle, all of the major medical
organizations and many religious organizations support comprehensive sex
education:
Summary
Your child will be making his or her own decisions about whether or not
to have sex; you have no choice in the matter. You cannot be with
him/her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Therefore, it is critical that
you ensure your child is equipped with as much knowledge and
understanding of sexuality as possible so that they can make these
decisions rationally and intelligently. Failure to do so is nothing
short of irresponsible parenting.
Sources:
(1) AGI - Alan Guttmacher Institute. Facts in Brief: Sexuality
Education.
http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_sex_ed02.html.
(2) Kaiser Family Foundation,
http://www.kaisernetwork.org/daily_reports/
rep_index.cfm?DR_ID=15601
(3) "California Reduces Teen Birth Rate Through Sex Education." (2004,
May 9, accessed 2004, May 13). The Mercury News (San Jose, CA).
(4) Committee on HIV Prevention Strategies in the United States,
Institute of Medicine. No Time to Lose: Getting More from HIV
Prevention. Washington, DC: The Institute, 2000
(5) Singh, Susheela & Jacqueline E. Darroch. (2000). "Adolescent
Pregnancy and Childbearing: Levels and Trends in Developed Countries."
Family Planning Perspectives, 32(1), 914.
(6) Walters, Joanna. (2005, January 2). "No Sex is Safe Sex for Teens in
America." The Observer.
(7) Texas A&M Study on the effectiveness of Texas Abstinence Only Sex
Education Program, commissioned by the State of Texas Health Department,
cited at
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6894568/
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