Caitlain's Corner

Sex Education

How to do a Lap Dance

As an add-on to my article on stripping, and because I've seen a couple of posts asking about how to do lap dances specifically, I thought I'd flesh out the lap dancing part of it a little bit. Obviously, you can do LDs without having to go through a full-fledged strip routine, so I thought a set of tips on how to do one apart from such a routine might be beneficial for some.

Also: How to do a Strip Tease

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A girl giving another girl a lap dance

Lap dancing is not unlike a full-body massage - the basic end result idea is to straddle the guy (or girl), and grind your pubic area into their crotch. Obviously, the more you work at making it a tease, the more effect you’ll have on your “customer,” and the more enjoyable it will be for the both of you. Your customer should be seated on a chair where you can get around him and where he can spread his legs enough for you to get in between them! Recliners and couches are generally not a good idea, nor is a stool (too little to balance on). As you begin, move in close to him and whisper to him that he is not allowed to touch you – if he does, you’ll punish him by stopping the dance.

If you are still partially dressed, then you can begin removing more clothes (follow the tips outlined in the post on stripping) until you are either nude or have just your g-string on. Move in toward his face with your chest, maybe place a nipple close to his mouth – very close. Ask him if he wants to lick or suck it, and then back away – esp. if he starts to move his mouth toward you. If you are working with a chair that has a high enough back to it, you can put one hand on the chair on one side of his head, and one on the other arm and lean in where your boobs are within millimeters of his face and maintain your balance. If you have long hair, use it – let it drape down over his face for a few seconds if possible, and then toss it over to the other side of your body.

Rubbing your chest along his torso, slide your face down toward his crotch. Be sure and brush your tits across his crotch on your way down. When your tits get to his crotch, give him a mock titty-fuck for a few seconds. Once that’s done, you can lick his crotch and/or simulate giving him a blow job – you might even lightly bite at his cock through his pants.

Get back up, and turn with your back facing his chest. Back up toward him and wiggle your ass at him. Slap your cheeks and rub them. Bend over and run your hands from behind your knees, slowly up your legs up to your ass, following your curves. When you get back up to your ass, grab each cheek and give them a little massage right there near his face (be careful not to spread your cheeks, lest he get an eye full [unless you want him to, that is]).

Hopefully, you’ll know whether your customer is one who likes eye contact the entire time, or just the occasional peek (since this is written for someone doing this for a BF as opposed to a customer in a club, I’ll assume you already know which he prefers). Be sure and use eye contact to increase the intensity of your dance in whatever manner works for the two of you. While your ass is pointed toward him, for example, turn your face toward him and look into his eyes (if he’s not too busy watching your ass).

Slide your ass down into his crotch, and move to the wave or beat of the music you are dancing to. This needs to be a slightly gyrating, grinding kind of movement. Brace yourself by holding onto his knees while you are between his legs, with your ass grinding on his crotch. If the seating arrangement permits, you can lean back onto him from this position, and move your hips into him. Lean back so that your head is on his shoulder, and where you can whisper something in his ear, or where he can hear your breathing as you’re moving to the music. He may try to reach around you and touch you or hold you. Swat his hand and remind him that it is no-touchy! Go from gyrating to moving the crack of your ass long the length of his (hopefully) erect penis – back and forth for a few seconds, using just pelvic motion (not moving your whole body – keep your face near his if you can).

Once you’ve teased him mercilessly that way, bring yourself back around to where you’re facing him. If you can get one of your legs up on the arm of the chair, do so. Depending on how comfortable you are doing it, you can spread your legs right in front of him, as close to his face as you can get. You can just run your hands from your knees back into your crotch, up your torso and play with your chest, or you can move them in and masturbate to whatever extent you feel comfortable doing. I guarantee you he will *love* watching you masturbate that closely. If you can focus on gyrating your hips to the wave of the music while you’re doing it, so much the better.

Finally, you need to work yourself into a position where you can straddle him and sit on his lap. Just move in and slowly sit down on him (gingerly), again sliding your chest down as close to his face as you can get it, and (hopefully) placing your hands on the chair back on either side of his face. Once you get seated on him and have made contact with his crotch, then gaze into his eyes, maybe lick your lips a little, get one of those “in the throes of ecstasy – I’m enjoying being fucked” looks on your face, and begin gently grinding his crotch with yours - basically having dry sex. Lean back and moan a little, breathe heavily into his ear, lick his lips, and kiss him; whatever you feel like doing at this point. By this time, you might be a little winded, and he will enjoy listening to your heavy breathing as you move to the music (if you’ve got your face nuzzled into the side of his). If you want, you can let him put his hands on your hips to help you brace yourself and give you something to move against.

As your music nears its end, you can begin grinding harder – exactly how hard is up to you. Do you want to make him cum? You can do this grinding the right way (and with the right amount of pressure). Or, you can tease him and leave him there with his erection – maybe move to the bedroom or whatever. As I indicated in the thread on stripping, you can close the deal with a blowjob, or full, penetrative sex if that’s the route you want to go – entirely up to you and your comfort level.

Some other tips:

1. Pants – make sure he’s wearing something other than jeans or other heavy pants – grinding on someone wearing jeans will tear your crotch up – esp. if you’re nude. If you’re going to be doing it nude, and he’s wearing good pants (i.e., khakis, etc.), have a small hand towel to place on his lap so that you don’t get anything on his pants. If he soils the inside of his pants, well, that’s his problem! Lol

2. Music – pick something that conveys the mood you want to set – either intimate or raunchy. Good music for lap dances include things like “Come Away With Me” (Norah Jones), “Candy Shop” or “Jus a Lil Bit” (50 Cent), “Sweet Dreams” (Marilyn Manson), “Crazy” (Aerosmith), “I Touch Myself” (Divinyls), etc.

3. Wear high heels, and keep your shoes on for the LD if you’ve also done a strip routine for him. The heels will let you stay high enough to remain on your feet while you work in front of him, straddling him.

4. The mindset of a true lap dance is that of a full-body massage, using your body as the instrument of that massage. During the lap dance, you can make contact with him with any part of your body in any way that you want – whatever feels sexy for you. Of course, you must make sure that he doesn’t touch you – that is all part of the tease effect of the dance.

Readers have left 5 comments.

1. Untitled
Guest User, Unregistered

Thanks, great info. Married 17 yrs. and always to nervous to try.

Posted 2007-08-07 21:32:44

2. Untitled
Guest User, Unregistered

It's good to finally know. I'm in HS and everyone always pretends to know, but they can't give you a straight answer if you ask them directly. Thanks.

Posted 2007-09-16 17:13:00

3. Untitled
Guest User, Unregistered

This was really good information! I wanted to surprise my fiance with a lap dance because he has been wanting one, and this helps a lot!!

Posted 2008-08-04 23:11:31

4. Untitled
Guest User, Unregistered

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I was looking for guided masturbation [with a Tao or Tantric angle] when I stumbled across your site.
Tomorrow is my 10 yr wedding anniversary, so tonite I am going to practice some of these moves. [If I can hold off from touching myself, which I would be doing right now if I didn't have to type.]

Posted 2008-11-28 15:57:47

5. Untitled
Guest User, Unregistered

great article.... for another HOT tune: feel love by paula cole.

Posted 2008-12-04 19:57:39