Caitlain's Corner

Sex Education

Oral Sex, General Concepts

Oral sex is the act of stimulating your partner’s genitals with you mouth, either with the intent of them achieving orgasm, or as a form of foreplay prior to sexual intercourse (or other activity). When you perform oral sex on a female, it is called “cunnilingus” or “eating pussy.” When you perform oral on a guy, it is called “fellatio” or “giving head.” For both sexes, when you perform oral sex on them, you are said to be "going down" on them! There are a great many other euphemisms used to describe it as well!

Some people (both sexes) have an initial aversion to putting their mouths “down there” or on someone else’s private parts! As long as the genital area is relatively clean, however, it can be a very enjoyable activity if done correctly. It can also be used when a quick sexual liaison is in order or when intercourse is not an option.

Oral sex is a very common form of sex play, with more than 95% of both males and females performing it at some point during a sexual relationship. It is important to keep in mind your partner's wishes, however. For some, the act of oral sex seems to be disgusting, and if they do not wish to do it, then you should never force or coerce them into doing it. This is a simple matter of respect for your partner.

Is oral sex “sex?” For some, the answer is yes, for others, the opposite is the case, thanks in large part to the infamous trysts between former President Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. You have to decide for yourself whether oral sex is sex within the context of your relationship. Few people would argue these days that performing oral sex on someone causes you to "lose" your virginity, however. In many places, oral sex is considered "sex" for legal purposes, and if vaginal sex is illegal (due to age, etc.), then usually oral sex is as well!

Regardless of how you perceive it, oral sex is an intimate sexual encounter, and should not be treated as just a casual way to get another person off. You are "sexually active" if you are doing oral sex. As with any step in a relationship, you should discuss it before you get to the point where you actually are in a position to do it - it is a huge step in a developing relationship.

Oral sex is a relatively safe form of sex. Certainly it is not possible to become pregnant by giving a guy head and swallowing. However, some STDs can be transmitted through oral sex (especially Herpes ), so don’t just assume that oral is automatically a “safe” form of sex play. If you are not sure your partner is disease-free, then you are encouraged to use the forms of protection outlined as outlined below.

Mutual oral sex, with both partners performing oral on each other simultaneously, is usually accomplished in what is called the "69" position . This can be a lot of fun because both people are stimulating each other at the same time!

The first time you perform oral on someone, you may be a little bit nervous, and this is to be expected of course. Everyone is nervous their first time. Use the information at the links on the right hand side of this page to learn how to perform oral sex on your partner.

"Safe" oral sex

The best way to help ensure a safer oral sex experience is to use a condom during the act. Though this may detract from the experience of oral, it is far better to ensure that you remain disease-free than anything else. They make flavored condoms specifically for the purpose of making an condomed blowjob more palatable.

When performing oral on a female, you should use a dental dam, which is basically a flat piece of latex that acts as a barrier between the vagina and your mouth. These dams also work for oral-anal contact. When using a dental dam (or saran wrap as a substitute), if you place a little bit or lube (or even saliva) on the side that makes contact with the person receiving oral, it will feel more like actual oral contact.

Spit vs. Swallow

When performing oral on a guy, you will inevitably face the question of what to do with his cum when he orgasms.

The first aspect of this involves whether or not you will allow him to cum in your mouth. This is entirely up to you, and you should never feel forced into allowing someone to do so if you truly do not want him to. There are advantages to allowing someone to cum in your mouth, primarily the fact that clean-up will be much easier. For many, pulling the penis out of your mouth to finish him off with a hand job interrupts the natural psychological ramp up to the orgasm as well.

If you allow him to cum in your mouth, you then face the decision of what to do with it - spit it out, or swallow it. Again your decision is based entirely on your personal preference. If you elect to spit it out, you should have a towel handy to receive the cum. Otherwise, you'll have to get up and go to the bathroom, which might interrupt the intimacy of the moment. You may also wish to have a glass of water or other drink handy to help remove the taste from your mouth.

Swallowing makes the process a little more tidy because it eliminates the mess and doesn't interrupt the physical act of making the guy cum. This helps make the act a little more intimate, and is a good psychological addition to the act when the guy knows you're going to let him cum in your mouth. With practice, it is possible to learn to get him to cum in the back of your mouth, where the cum will just slide right down your throat, and you hardly even taste it. In actuality, you really taste the cum less if you swallow it instead of spitting it out because the act of swallowing pushes more of the cum down your throat in stead of leaving a coating of it in your mouth like spitting does.

When you perform oral on a female, it will be hard not to end up swallowing some of the juices that the female produces (if your performing oral correctly). That isn't "cum" so it's not really the same thing, however, as it is with a guy.   You can find more about this subject HERE .

What does cum taste like?

The first time you get ready to go down on a guy, this will be one of your primary questions. It is hard to uniquely characterize what cum tastes like. Many describe it as sort of clam-like or slimy in texture, and with a sort of salty/chlorine-type taste. Each person will taste somewhat different, however. Occasionally, you'll hear someone say their guy has a slightly sweet taste. It will have a smell to it that is reminiscent of bleach.

One of the main determinants of the taste is the guy's diet. Anything that contains (non-citrus) acid will cause cum to taste slightly bitter. Some fruits, especially pineapple, are said to make it taste sweet to a certain extent. Smoking will also cause cum to taste worse than it might otherwise taste.

Female vaginal fluid will also taste differently with each individual, and it also has a unique taste that is hard to characterize. For someone who is clean, the best characterization of it would be sort of "metallic" in nature, not unlike licking the back of a piece of aluminum foil! Others characterize it as a slightly salty/sweet taste combination! It will vary by the place she is in her monthly cycle, her diet, which birth control method she's using (if any), etc.

Some girls will also ejaculate a different fluid with particularly intense orgasms! This it not terribly uncommon, and the fluid will taste sort of sweet and bitter at the same time - again, a unique taste. But there's no harm in tasting/swallowing it.

There's nothing wrong with tasting your own fluids to see what you really taste like. It *is* your fluid, and if you expect your partner to go down on you and taste them, there's no reason you can't do it yourself to see how you really taste.

How much does a guy or girl come, and how many calories are in it?

The average guy will ejaculate approximately one tablespoon of semen in a single orgasm, though the exact amount will vary based on the last time he came and, to some extent, how long he's been teased before he actually orgasms. Semen is approximately 98% protein, and there are between 5 and 10 calories in the average tablespoon of it.

Females produce more vaginal fluid because of the increased arousal. This fluid has no a appreciable caloric content. For those who do ejaculate, the amount will vary greatly from individual to individual, and it, too, is very low in calories!

Is there any health risk associated with oral or swallowing?

If the person is disease-free, there is no risk associated with performing oral or swallowing semen or vaginal fluids.

Can you get pregnant from giving head?

No. Even if you swallow, there's no connection between the body's digestive system and it's reproductive system, so it is not possible to become pregnant.

How do you give a blowjob to a guy?

Well, to begin with, there's no "blowing" involved. The basic technique behind oral sex on a guy is to put the penis in your mouth, and lick it, lightly suck on it, move it in and out of your mouth with your lips closed around it, and orally play with it (using your hands as well, if you wish) until he cums. Don't feel as though you have to get the whole penis in your mouth, especially if he has a larger than average sized one. The main part to focus on is the underside of the head of the penis anyway.   You should also concentrate on making sure your teeth do not scrape his penis, as this can be painful!

The key is to find out what the guy likes and what makes him feel good. Different guys will like oral performed in different ways, so there's no magic "this is what you do" kind of thing. As with any kind of sex, you and your partner need t explore what makes it work for the two of you and build on that.

You can get in-depth instruction on performing oral sex on guys here .

How do you perform oral on a female?

Performing oral on a female involves licking and sucking of the clitoris and vulval area, and tongue penetration of the vagina. And, like oral on a guy, you'll have to experiment with your technique to figure out what your girl likes, since each has a different preference for how she likes to have it done. You should focus attention on the clit, as this is the exterior nerve center of her sexuality. The first inch of so of her vagina is also rich on nerve endings, so tongue stimulation (and penetration) should also be arousing to her.

You may also include penetration with a finger (or fingers) of her vagina is she is comfortable with that. By combining this with the use of your tongue to massage her clit and other areas, you increase the likelihood of success of her achieving orgasm. If you are familiar with the location and use of her G-Spot , you might find that this also increases the intensity of her orally-induced orgasms.

You an get in-depth information on how to perform oral sex on a female here .

What is "69"

69 is a sexual position where both partners can perform oral sex on each other simultaneously. It is done by having the two partners lay in such a manner that each of their heads is right in front of the other's genitals. They then perform oral sex on each other at the same time.

What can I do to make oral sex more attractive for my partner?

Bathe regularly. That's all there is to it. As long as you keep your genital area clean, and you are healthy, there should be no horrible smell or other problem that would make it difficult for someone to perform oral on you.

For females, it is not necessary to douche to make yourself smell better. Most medical professional say it is dangerous to douche, in fact. If you do have a serious problem with your vaginal area smelling foul, you should seek medical advice, as this may be a sign of infection or pH imbalance.

With both genders, "smell" issues can also be reduced to an extent by trimming or removing the pubic hair . Hair holds scents, and this will go a long way towards reducing any problems you or your partner may have with the issue. Since smell is very closely tied to taste, this may help address any taste issues as well.

What is "Deep Throating?"

Deep throating is where you take a guy's penis entirely into your mouth as far back as possible. This of course means the penis will enter the back of the mouth into the throat in many cases. Though this has some psychological advantage for the guy, it is not necessary for him to achieve orgasm.

The primary inhibitor of performing deep throat is the gag reflex. Some people are born without a gag reflex and can learn to perform this quite easily. For others, it is possible to learn to deep throat with practice in many cases.

What is "snowballing?"

Snowballing is a term used to describe the act of kissing someone else with a load of semen in your mouth. Most often this is a girl kissing the guy she just went down on, but it is also used to describe it when two girls share a guy's cum between themselves.

There is nothing inherently wrong with this act, so long as both partners agree to it. As I said before, there's no reason you shouldn't be willing to taste your own fluids. Many people (esp. the guys) find this idea repulsive, however.

What is a "Facial?"

The term "facial" is used to describe the act where a guy ejaculates on the face of his partner. This is commonly seen in many porn videos, and some people find this very degrading to the partner on the receiving end of the act. However, as long as both partners are willing to try it, it can't be degrading to either of them.

One thing to keep in mind about this is that, if you are on the receiving end, try to keep the semen out of your eyes, since this can be a source of a major eye infection.

What is "Rimming"

Rimming is the act of orally stimulating your partner's anus or anal area, and is also know as analingus, or "eating ass." While this may sound disgusting to some people, if it is performed on a clean backside, it can be very sensual for both partners. The key, of course, if to make sure the area is clean. A good time to try this is right after a shower. The basic technique is to use your tongue to circle your partner's anus (thus the term "rimming") and gently probe the anus with it to your partner's content.

As with oral sex on the female genitals, safe sex requires the use of a dental dam (or saran wrap) to preclude the transmission of diseases, or if you just want to use a barrier to prevent contact between the tongue and any "foreign matter" that might be present (which there is none, usually). And, as before, if you place a bit of lube on the receiver's side of the barrier, it helps it feel more like the tongue is sliding across the area directly.

Summary

Oral sex is one of the most common sex acts between two individuals. It can be a very exciting addition to your sexual repertoire. Many people find it even more exciting than intercourse in some cases. Just remember, however, that even oral sex has some risks associated with the transmission of diseases, so it is just as important to practice safe sex with oral as it is for intercourse!